Losing Her Mind
by Yokina Hito
Summary: She lost everything and can't remember that she lost it. She mysteriously happened upon him in a cloud of confusion and from that fatful day on, the chaos will ensue. Her life shall no longer be blind. HieiOC On Haitus
1. One

_AN: Hello. Welcome to the edited version of chapter one. Thanks to my wonderful beta reader, whom I would like to give all the credit of these revisions to, I have edited this chapter. Repetitive much? Well, yea. I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho.

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**Losing Her Mind  
**CHAPTER 1  
SHE JUST CAN'T REMEMBER

The young woman descended the stairs of the building. Though she looked to be only 13 years old, she was in fact much older. She sighed and ran her fingers through her hair, closing her eyes wearily. She felt something again. It was weird. She could just feel things. Things getting closer; things going farther away; things beneath her feet; things above her head. She could tell when there was an exceptionally weird person around. She would pass them on the street. Sometimes face them in a battle she would hardly remember.

Her hand traveled idly to her side. She fingered the katana that was hidden in her coat. She couldn't remember where it had come from or why she had it. It was just always at her side. She felt like it was suppose to be there. Somehow, she felt a promise had been made to keep it there. So she did. That was one thing she would never forget to keep it there. For whatever the reason.

She dug her hand back into the pocket of her coat. It was black wool with four large buttons down the front. A crimson scarf was neatly tucked under the collar and hung loosely down the front of the coat. It fell to her knees, and had deep pockets that her thick gloves fit in nicely. It was the middle of winter and this coat was very warm. The light snow outside didn't affect her. She couldn't tell what was warm and what was cold. Everyone was wearing these coats so she figured it would be best to wear one as well.

Her chunky hazel bangs fell everywhere over her face, not enough to completely hide her mauve eyes, and her long hair fell to her waist. She suddenly forgot where she was going and headed in a random direction. She closed her eyes for a moment and when she opened them, she saw a large building. That was the high school that wore pink uniforms. Oh, what was its name? She felt that odd feeling again. She headed towards the school. She had nothing better to do. She glanced up the tree she was drawn strongest to.

She raised her brow curiously. There was man clad in black with a white scarf and bandanna in the tree. She tilted her head to the side as his left eye opened, and he looked down at her with a slight sneer. His face was so familiar. Where? How? When? Why? She just couldn't place it. He hopped down from the tree and grabbed her throat; it was a subtle squeeze. She couldn't feel his hand, but she dearly wished she could.

"Onna." Woman. 'Woman' he said. What was that supposed to mean?

His eyes narrowed. He squeezed a little harder. She could hardly breathe, but her brain didn't register the pressure. Her memory was so foggy. Her hand slipped out of her pocket, and she reached for her katana. In a flash, she had unsheathed it and he was back on the defense with his katana pressed against hers. His eyes widened for a split second. She always noticed small things like that. She never could remember what they were later or assess what they meant, but she caught them. She cocked her head to the side, much in a similar fashion as before.

The man reached for his bandanna and tugged it off. Though she fell into the ground from lack of consciousness moments later, she caught the third eye imbedded in his forehead. She felt her mind 'lose itself' again.

Hiei began to search her mind using his Jagan. Inside her mind was a mystery. He saw doctors and brain scans and fighting scenes. He shook his head and ventured farther in. He searched for a beginning to all of the chaos. It seemed she couldn't remember if she ate breakfast or not even though there was a clear mental image. He looked for the past. Nothing was organized. He found a memory floating around in empty space. He touched it to enter.

She was standing there, as smug as ever, before the portal to the Ningen kai. Her hair was much shorter, only to her shoulders. He was standing in front of her dressed in his normal attire. He looked very cross and upset. He narrowed his eyes as she took a step closer to the portal. He didn't even know how she had gotten one.

"I will miss you, but it's not fair for you to do this," she spoke with a clearly upset tone.

"Hn. You will not go anywhere."

"Yes, I will, and I am. There's nothing you can do. I beat you here fair and square. You promised."

"I don't always keep the promises I make."

She sighed and took a step back. One more and she would be gone. Watching from a distance, he wanted to yell at himself to go after her, do something more than watch her leave. She smiled a sad smile and took that last, fateful step backwards. He was out of the memory soon enough not to have to watch himself break down, pounding the floor, ravaging the forest, all while no tears escaped.

He searched for another memory like that one. Floating with no particular direction or aim. The memory might hold what happened after she stepped through the portal. After a few minutes, which seemed like hours to him, he found what he was looking for. He touched it and entered. This time, he could see her only faintly. It was dark. The only light to be seen was a distant headlight and the light from the portal. She stepped out and looked around curiously. The headlights grew closer. She didn't know something deadly to ningens was attached the light. She squinted her eyes as the large car came speeding toward her.

His eyes widened as the car impacted her body. She ducked, the car hitting her head. Her frontal lobe, her memories. The car was coming to a stop, but the damage was done. Her head was bleeding, her memories jumbled or lost forever. The driver jumped out and examined the damage; it appeared to be pretty severe. Though being a demon, she would survive, but the poor man driving the car didn't know that. He jumped into his seat and grabbed a phone. 911 was immediately dialed, but while he was focused on that, she got up and began to saunter down the highway, forgetting everything.

He tried to tell her to stop. Yell at her. Make her get help. He couldn't reach her. Her mind barriers were coming back into effect. Damned dark miko. He was fading from her mind.

He had one eye shut as he retied the bandanna, leaning against the same tree he had been sitting in only minutes ago. She was collapsed on the ground and shaking, unconsciously clutching her head. It was snowing a little harder. If it was her frontal lobe that was damaged, she couldn't even feel the cold. She couldn't feel anything at all. Too bad he couldn't feel remorse. He jumped back into the trees and continued until he was far away.

She awoke a half an hour later on the cold ground covered in snow. She was so dizzy and woebegone that she hadn't even the sense to brush herself off. She wandered here and there, to nowhere and everywhere. Everything was coming back to her in a rush, except the name of the man she had seen by the school. He was so familiar and so…so…there was no word to describe it. She ran back to her apartment and up the stairs, which she slipped on a couple of times. Fumbling with her keys to the door, she stumbled into her entry way. She fell onto the floor as the name flashed in her memory.

_**Hiei**_

She was unconscious from the rush for the rest of the day. She awoke around midnight to find herself in the same position, not remembering what she was doing there. She had no recollection of what had happened. She could feel that thing again. It seemed to be outside her window. She didn't care nor did she want to care. She pushed herself up with much struggle only to find a loud ringing in her ears. She stripped her coat, gloves, scarf, and hat and set them on the couch. She, like a drunk, staggered towards the bathroom where she showered herself. She completely collapsed on her bed from then till morning.

_**Fini... For now

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_AN: Well, people, there it is. The first chapter newly revised and hopefully more clear. I, once again, want to give a big thanks to my beta reader. I call her Dawn, for the awakening of a new "dawn" in my writing. Ah well, much too metaphorical for me. Good night, good morning, whatever time it is where you are, sayonara._


	2. Two

_AN: Hello, and welcome to the second chapter of my mind's rambling. I really won't waste your time with pointless banter so, I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho. Here is your chapter. Oh yea, and if you haven't read the corrections on the first chapter, please go back and reread the chapter. It makes a lot more sense now.

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**Losing Her Mind  
**CHAPTER 2  
WHATEVER HAPPENED TO NORMAL?

"Kazuko?" a faint voice called out in the darkness of her mind. She had no idea where she was or what she was doing there. "Kazuko?" Again. "Kazuko, wake up!"

Her eyes slowly opened. What was going on? At first, it was mostly a fuzzy, blurry image of a young woman's concerned face. As her vision came into focus, the woman's face showed signs of relief.

"Oh, Kazuko, thank the gods above that you are okay!" the woman exclaimed, taking her into warm arms. She remembered this voice, this gentle, motherly embrace. Her arms lifted up to grasp weakly onto the woman. "Kazuko, where have you been?"

She tried to speak, but the words died on her lips. What was she to say? She had no recollection of what had happened. "I… I… don't remember."

"Don't remember what, dear?" The woman looked into her eyes as they started to water. "It's all right, child. It's all right. I'll fix you some soup and everything will be better. You just rest." The woman left, the only sound being that of a kettle steaming on the stove and the shuffle of slippers against wooden floors. She lay back in bed. 'Takumi.'

"Takumi-san (1)?"

The woman paused and turned around. "Hai (2)?"

"Ah, nothing."

"All right." Takumi walked out of the room and went to fix the girl some soup. A couple of minuets later, she appeared in the doorway with a bowl, steam rising out of the top.

She sat up, gratefully taking the soup from the woman's hands.

"Takumi-san, what are you doing here?"

"Well, you didn't show up for work yesterday. Then I came to visit you because you wouldn't answer the phone, and I found you with a terrible fever. I've been trying to get your fever down for hours. I was so worried when you didn't wake up," Takumi said with a caring voice.

She _remembered_something, something about being in a schoolyard. "I… sort of remember being in a schoolyard. I was distracted from going to work and ended up wandering there."

"The bakery missed you. Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yes," she paused. "I think."

Something weird happened yesterday in the schoolyard, but she couldn't remember what it was exactly. Her eyes cast downward. She would forget anyway. How many important events or special occasions had she forgotten? Why was it now she was realizing this? What had happened in the schoolyard to start this sudden turn of events? Just what exactly was it?

**:01234543210:**

He sat in that same tree branch. What was he waiting for? Surely she wouldn't come back, and Kurama wasn't there because it was Saturday. This was pointless. At least, that's what he kept telling himself.

"Hiei?" his head snapped towards his name. "What are you doing here?" Kurama asked, confused.

"Hn."

"O… kay."

There, now he had an excuse to stay. But he didn't need an excuse; he was simply there because he had nothing better to do. Yes, that was it.

**:01234543210:**

Takumi had begged and begged that Kazuko not go out today for her health, but she had to find out exactly what it was she had seen at the park. She was forgetful, not stupid. This was the first time she had ever acknowledged remembering something and also began to think about not remembering. She buttoned up her large overcoat and pulled on her gloves. Takumi was by her side, getting her outer-wear on as well. Making sure she had her keys, she opened up the door to the freezing cold weather. A chill reached her spine. Takumi looked over worriedly as the girl snuggled closer into her coat. Kazuko's cheeks turned bright pink as she stepped into the cold.

"Are you sure you don't want me to go with you?" Takumi questioned, worry filling more of her voice than question.

"Yes. I have to figure this out on my own. I promise I'll be back to the bakery first thing tomorrow morning."

"All right. But please, call if you need any assistance."

She smiled her usual warm smile, "I will." The two exited the apartment and walked down the stairs. They went their separate ways.

Thinking hard as to where the school with pink uniforms was, she soon forgot how bone-chillingly cold it was and exactly what that meant. She sensed that same familiar feeling that she sometimes had, and she ran towards it. She ended up at the base of the same tree that she was at yesterday. She stared into it intently as if to find a needle in a haystack. Fortunately, she didn't have to look too hard. Shoulders slumping over, covered in snow. He sat with one knee popped up as he leaned on it. His eye cracked open. As if uninterested, he closed it back up and continued to sit there.

"Hey!" she yelled into the tree. "I want to talk to you! Come down from there." Suddenly, a thought struck her. "And if you won't come down, then at least pretend you're listening!"

"Baka na on'na no ka (3)."

"Yes, I know. But please." After a few moments passed, she thought there was no getting through to this man. She felt a cold wet drop slide down her cheek. Placing a finger to the wet stream, she felt her skin.

It felt…soft. She could feel the wetness fall off her chin into the snow. She brought her palm to her face and wiped the cold wetness away. What was that? It felt as if the feeling that caused the drop was connected to her heart, and a cold pressure settled over it. Was she sick again? No, it didn't feel sick in that way. It was just painful as though her feelings were hurt. Something that she felt shouldn't be new.

"Fine. I'll come back tomorrow and see if you'll talk then." She hadn't really thought out what she would ask. She turned on a heel and stomped off into the snow. Her hands jammed in her pockets, she felt such strong rage that he wouldn't talk, she thought she would explode.

It wasn't fair. Why should she have to suffer when she knew he had answers? Why? Her head snapped up. She felt her cheek again. That wetness. That was… tears. What a silly thing to forget. How do you forget something like that? It was dumb. It made her even angrier.

Before she knew it, she was back at her apartment. It seemed like the first time that her feet had actually remembered where they were going. She threw her coat off and made some tea. That same energy from the park flashed in her brain near her apartment. She ignored it. It was far too fast to be sure, and she was too tired to investigate anyways.

She slumped back in the couch. Looking out the window at the snow falling and children playing made her wish she could remember more. It truly wasn't fair. Why was everything so hard? Why did she leave?

She blinked, confused. Leave where? That didn't make sense. A slight burning sensation in her forehead made her stand unsteadily to get the aspirin. She collapsed to her knees as a painful surge of heat flashed though her body. She thought she was melting, it was so hot. She soon passed out from the heat.

_**To Be Continued…

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_AN: Oooooo. Cliffy. I hope that keeps you in baited breath for the next one. Thanks again to my wonderful, wonderful beta who edits like a faithful puppy slave. And to all you reviewers out there who review. I was pleasantly surprised at how many this story got on only its first chapter. I sound like a rooky. Well, thanks anyways and sayonara 'till next time._

_PS: Here is that Japanese that I numbered:  
_1: **-san** this is an honor title. San is like saying Mr. or Mrs. or Ms. In this case it was Ms.  
2: **Hai** this simply means yes. It can only mean yes. Not yea.  
3: **Baka no on'na no ka** this means stupid girl. Baka no meaning stupid and on'na no ka meaning girl.


	3. Three

_AN: Hello! Thank you for reviewing! I was still amazingly surprised at how many reviews I got. Thank you! Once again, my beta is partly to thank for this chapter not sucking and being very mistake-ridden. Well, I don't have too much to say so, here is your chapter.

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**Losing Her Mind  
**CHAPTER 3  
A VINE CONNECTS THROUGH THE SOUL

What was he doing? This was ridiculous. He shouldn't be doing this, yet he had to find out what was going on. It wasn't fair to her. No, absolutely not, but it had to be done. Plain and simple. He sat in a random tree at some random university. It didn't matter. It wasn't close to her house. Rather, apartment. His two normal eyes closed, and the one plop centered was open and glowing. His arms folded over his chest and his bandanna in his hand, he searched through her mind. Strangely, it was different from last time. Different, as in, it was much harder to crack open her barriers. Plus, there was a strange burning sensation throughout his body. It didn't hurt, but it was strange for it to be there.

The same complicated weave of memories jumbled here and there made it hard for him to find what he was looking for. There was one major difference this time from the last one. There were two or three set memories stuck in the front of her head ready for access. It was as if her mind had begun to try to remember things. He headed towards the jumbled memories and took a different approach from last time to see what had happened. This time, he intended to ingest the memory. He took it in the palms of his hands and swallowed it whole. His mind flashed into her eyes.

**-------**

She stumbled around with blurry vision as she attempted to locate her way. But the only problem was, she had no idea where she was going. She saw a sign. A really blurry sign. It didn't matter. She stumbled in and fell to the floor. Heavy footsteps could be heard rushing across the wooden floors. A voice that shouted was indistinguishable. Her mind was so disoriented. She couldn't even think straight.

**-------**

Hiei could feel a push on his hold with her mind. He was shoved out of her thoughts. The force was so strong that his head was thrown back into the tree. He could feel his Jagan snap shut in a hurry. He quickly wrapped his bandanna on and jumped from his perch. Shoving his hands into his pockets, he briskly walked down the street shoving past people. He could only sense his way to where she was.

**:01234543210:**

As the heat receded from her body, she lay there, not willing to move from her painful position. She didn't know how she did it or why, but she pushed her mind to follow whatever had caused her to heat up like that. She found the source running towards her apartment. She closed her eyes and willed it to come, whatever it was. A few minuets later, she could hear the door knob being juggled to be opened. She wearily stood, and as she got there she could hear the unsheathing of a sword. She unlocked the door and opened it up to come face to face with _him_. He stood at the ready to chop down the door. She unsheathed her own katana, but not to fight him. She held it in her hands as though it were porcelain and would break if she moved it an inch. Sadly, his expression never changed.

**:01234543210:**

On his way over, he could feel a strong heat course through his body. He was strong enough to withstand it, but why was it happening? As he prepared to shop the door down, he heard footsteps shuffling across the floor to him. He stood in his position in case it was a demon that needed slaughtering, but he knew it wasn't. Somewhere deep down, he knew it wasn't. He still stood in that position when she opened the door. Why was he doing this? She seemed to be reading his mind because she asked just that.

"Why are you doing this? To hurt me? To hurt yourself? I want to remember you. I know somewhere in my mind, lost among other memories, you're there. Please I want to remember," she begged, her voice sounding through the empty apartment.

Hiei seemed to loose his voice and regain it all at once. His stomach jumped into his throat as he tried to come up with a solution of what to do.

"Hn. Every day, at the tree, ask me one question and I'll give you the answer. Only one." With that, he was gone in a second.

**:01234543210:**

She stood in the doorway with the cold wind blowing in her hair, katana still raised in her hands, confused. She didn't know what to do. It was a lot, to say the least. She was finally going to have someone answer her questions. She sheathed the katana and set it in the umbrella holder. She shut the door with one swift movement and leaned against its frame for composure. She glanced at the wall clock: 10:30 PM. She rubbed her eyes and headed to the bathroom. She took a quick shower and went to bed.

The next morning, as she pushed the button to turn her alarm clock off, she formulated the perfect question in her head to ask him. First of all she was going to ask his name, but she didn't just want his name. That would be a waste of one question. So she would make it two questions in one sentence. She dressed herself in her normal work attire and headed off to Takumi-san's Bakery. She walked through the crowded streets snuggling into the warmth of her coat. She really liked the feeling of being warm.

She pushed open the front door and was greeted by the sound of noisy customers eating their breakfast. She glanced over at the ordering counter. Many people were lined up waiting for their food. She hung her coat on the bottom of many others on the coat rack in the front doorway. She made her way though the tables to the counter. Takumi appeared from the back with tray of fresh bread. She smiled in greeting and quickly went to put the bread in the glass store case. Kazuko entered through the side door in the wall to the back room where all of the cooks worked. She pulled on an apron grabbed her wet cloth for wiping down tables. She received many 'konnichi wa's (1) as she walked out to do her job.

She began clearing the tables of left over wrappers and wiping them down as fast the people came and went. By mid-morning, she retired to the back and let Kitari, the other bus boy, take over cleaning tables. She walked over to the ovens where Charlie, the head cook (also American), was pulling out sheets of croissants. He turned to greet her with a smile.

"Just put your rag down and go over to the dough sitting there," Charlie said.

She nodded her head threw her rag in a sink of soapy water. She began to kneed the dough with her fingers gingerly. She began to pull pieces off and shape them into flat triangles. She then rolled them up into the shape of a croissant and would fold in the edges in neatly. Charlie was impressed at how much she remembered of making croissants.

"That's amazing. Hey, you're not getting one of those get smart quick operations like Charlie in that book _Flowers for Algernon_, are you?" Charlie said.

"No, silly. I'm forgetful, not stupid." She smiled at him and continued to work until the dough ran out. She popped them in the oven, sheet by sheet and went to work Kitari.

He was wiping down a booth seat when she came over to join him.

"Umm, I have a favor to ask," she said, helping wipe down the seat.

"Sure, shoot," Kitari said starting to wipe the table.

"Well, I have a friend to visit over my lunch break and he's kind of far away. I was hoping that if I don't make it back in time, that you could cover for me."

"Sure. By then the customers will have already started to thin."

"Thanks so much. I promise that I'll remember that I owe you."

"Hah! That'll happen." Kazuko frowned at him and went to wipe some other tables.

As noon approached, the customers began increase. Kazuko waved to Takumi as she fished her coat out from underneath the others and exited on her lunch break. She walked quickly through the flow of people on the sidewalks to the same tree she first encountered _him_ at. As she neared, she realized she only had a few moments to ask her question and get back. It had taken her almost a half an hour to get there and would take a half an hour back.

She yelled up to the tree, "Hey! I'm here! I've got my question!"

"Hn. Hurry up before you waste any more of my time."

"Um, yea. Well, here goes. What is you name and age?"

"Hn. Hiei. I'm two years older than you." Her mouth nearly dropped open at the fact that he had actually cooperated with her.

She managed to keep it shut and responded, "So that makes you… 22?"

"No foolish girl. You are 834. That makes my 854."

Somehow, that clicked in her mind. He had given her more information than she had expected to get. She heard the school bell ring. She hurried away as the students poured out for their lunch break. She sensed something odd among the students. It was a different energy from Hiei's but not any more powerful. She shook it off and hurried back to the bakery.

The snow stung her face and the cold was now at an unbelievable peak but it didn't matter because she was going to answer every question that had ever hung in the back of her mind. It was finally okay. Everything was going to be okay. She returned to the bakery only a few minuets late and helped Kitari to finish wiping the tables.

_**What next?

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_AN: Well, what do you think? I'm so surprised at the number hits and reviews that this fic is getting. It makes me proud to be a writer. And be proud of my beta, Dawn, who is solely responsible for this not being a grammatical mess._

_Here's the Japanese I used:  
_1: **Konnichi wa **means hello. That's really it.

_After the fact… WAY after: Oh my gods, you guys, I'm so sorry that I haven't updated in never. I'm really sorry. This chapter also wasn't beta'd due to extenuating circumstances. I really hope that you all haven't forgotten me. Once, again, I'm so sorry. Please excuse my horrible mistakes and such._


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